Sometimes the hardest part of surviving isn’t the crisis itself—it’s the maze you have to navigate just to get help.

This week, I learned firsthand how draining it can be to ask for emergency assistance. I set out with hope and ended up with more paperwork, longer lines, and an emotional rollercoaster I didn’t see coming. And that’s the story so many moms know too well: the struggle isn’t just in the lack—it’s in the process.

It’s not just one stop—it’s five.

To get help with emergency rent, utility bills, or food, I had to visit multiple locations. Some were open but out of funding. Others had a note on the door saying they were taking applications over the phone… but no one answers. One required a referral from another agency, and that agency required proof of being turned down elsewhere first. It felt like a scavenger hunt, but instead of a prize, I was chasing basic survival.

It’s not just about showing up—it’s about proving you’re in crisis.

I was told I needed to bring:

• Proof of income (or the lack of it)

• Lease agreement

• Disconnection notices

• Birth certificates

• Photo ID

• A letter from my employer

• Bank statements

I get it—there has to be accountability. But let’s talk about how hard it is to gather all of this when you’re in survival mode, with no printer, no gas, and kids you still have to feed and clothe in the meantime. For moms who just lost a job, fled a toxic situation, or are living in their car—this system wasn’t built for that kind of urgency.

It’s humbling—and exhausting.

As a mom, you’re expected to hold everything together, but when the system makes you feel like you’re begging just to keep your lights on, it chips away at your spirit. And yet, we do it anyway. Because we love our kids. Because we have to.

Let’s talk about the real problem.

It shouldn’t take 2 days, 5 offices, and 14 documents to prove that you’re struggling. The process to access emergency funds shouldn’t be a second job. There has to be a better way. One that honors the dignity of women and mothers doing their best in the face of impossible odds.

And if you’re reading this and feel overwhelmed—you’re not alone.

Here’s my truth: I’m tired. But I still have hope. And I’m committed to using my story not just to survive this season, but to break the chains that made it this hard in the first place.

If you’ve ever had to fight just to get basic help, I see you. I am you.

We were never meant to carry this alone.

—and that’s the exhaustion of trying to get help when you’re already drowning.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had to take time off work, pack up your babies, or put off paying a bill just so you could go chase assistance at five different offices… only to be met with:

• Disconnected phone lines

• “No funding at this time” signs

• Voicemails that never get returned

• Or taped notes on locked doors saying, “Apply by phone”… but no one ever picks up

It’s dehumanizing. It’s discouraging. And it’s something too many moms are silently enduring.

We’re told to “ask for help,” but no one talks about the hoops you have to jump through just to maybe qualify. No one talks about the guilt, the fear, the shame—and how hard it is to be vulnerable in a world that doesn’t always catch you when you fall.

But where do you even begin when you need help?

Here are a few steps that can guide you when everything feels overwhelming:

Where to Start When You Need Help as a Mom:

1. Call 2-1-1 (United Way):

This is one of the best first steps. It connects you to local resources like rent assistance, food programs, utility support, and shelters. They’ll give you a list of programs in your area.

2. Visit Your Local Department of Human Services (DHS) Office:

Ask about TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families), SNAP benefits (food stamps), Medicaid, and emergency cash programs.

3. Contact Local Churches and Faith-Based Organizations:

Many churches offer direct assistance with groceries, rent, utilities, and even car repairs—no strings attached.

4. Look Into Community Action Agencies:

Search your county’s [Community Action Agency name] + “assistance” and you’ll likely find programs that offer support with housing, heat, childcare, or job training.

5. Ask Schools and Counselors:

If you have school-aged kids, their counselor or principal often knows about programs specifically for families in crisis. Many schools have community partners willing to help behind the scenes.

6. Search Facebook Groups or Neighborhood Forums (Nextdoor):

You’d be surprised how often moms share local pop-up resources, gas card events, and last-minute help options in these spaces.

7. Apply for Local Business Grants (if you’re trying to build something):

If you’re a mompreneur or aspiring one, there are grants for women starting businesses.

Places to check:

• IFundWomen

• Hello Alice

• Amber Grant for Women

• Local city economic development programs

Here’s the truth:

It shouldn’t be this hard.

But it is. And I want you to know that just because the world makes it hard doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of help.

You are.

And if no one’s told you this yet:

You’re doing better than you think.

That’s why I started Chain Breaking Moms and Chaos Creates Change.

Because I believe the same chaos trying to break us can actually become the catalyst for our transformation.

We’re not just surviving anymore—we’re creating new systems.

We’re learning how to apply for business grants, how to sell our knowledge, how to build sustainable businesses from the very pain we’ve lived through.

If you’re reading this and you’re in the trenches—I see you.

And I want you to know: You’re not alone.

Let’s turn this chaos into creation.

And creation into cash.

Because no mom should have to fight this hard to provide.

Want to walk this journey with us?

Click [here] to join the Chaos Creates Change email list and get resources that help you build while you heal.

Pick Your Struggle!

“Either way, it’s a struggle—so pick the one that builds you. You can drain yourself chasing help to survive, or you can use that same energy to transform your chaos into creation and your creation into cash.”

Here’s your downloadable and printable guide to help moms in crisis:

Download Resource Guide for Moms in Crisis

It includes steps on where to begin asking for assistance, helpful organizations, and how to apply for business grants for moms ready to transform chaos into creation.