How To Navigate Triggers

Rejection sensitivity can feel like an unexpected twist in the journey of motherhood. It’s that deep, sometimes overwhelming feeling when a moment of perceived criticism or disapproval hits harder than you’d expect. For moms, especially those with ADHD or past trauma, this sensitivity to rejection often amplifies daily parenting challenges, from disciplining kids to handling the feedback of well-meaning relatives or even balancing friendships.

If you’ve found yourself worrying over small comments or feeling a wave of hurt after a child’s frustrated outburst, you’re not alone. Here, we’ll unpack how rejection sensitivity shows up in mom life and explore ways to navigate these moments with compassion and resilience.

Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in Motherhood

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is an intense emotional reaction to perceived or real criticism, failure, or rejection. When it comes to moms, RSD can make you feel like you’re not doing enough, even in moments that don’t actually warrant that level of self-doubt or guilt. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of second-guessing and self-criticism, feeling like any perceived rejection is confirmation that you’re not living up to the “good mom” standard.

Here’s how it often shows up in everyday scenarios:

Perceived Judgment from Others: Whether it’s unsolicited parenting advice, a comment on your child’s behavior, or a friend sharing her own parenting wins, it can feel like others are pointing out your shortcomings. RSD amplifies this reaction, and what might be simple feedback to someone else can feel like a personal critique.
Mom Guilt and Self-Criticism: Rejection sensitivity makes it easy to take every parenting challenge personally. If your child throws a tantrum or expresses frustration, it may trigger thoughts like, “Am I failing as a mom?” or “What am I doing wrong?”
Comparison on Social Media: It’s no secret that social media can fuel comparison. But when rejection sensitivity is at play, you might find yourself feeling inadequate or “less than” in the face of others’ highlight reels, interpreting others’ posts as a reflection of your perceived shortcomings.
Conflict with Partners or Co-Parents: A simple disagreement over parenting choices can quickly turn into a spiral of self-doubt. RSD can make you feel like even the smallest disagreement is a sign of disapproval, fueling feelings of inadequacy and worry.
Interpreting Children’s Reactions: Kids can be unfiltered and unpredictable, and a simple “I don’t like you right now!” can feel like a personal blow. Rejection sensitivity makes it hard to let these words roll off your back, instead making them feel like an arrow to the heart.

How to Navigate Rejection Sensitivity Triggers

The good news is that with awareness and some practical tools, you can learn to manage rejection sensitivity and create a healthier relationship with yourself as a mom. Here are some strategies to help:

1. Recognize the Trigger and Pause

When you feel that familiar pang of hurt, take a moment to pause. Breathe deeply and remind yourself that the feeling of rejection is just that—a feeling. Try to step back from the emotion by asking yourself, “Is this really a rejection, or is it just my interpretation of the situation?”

2. Challenge Your Inner Critic

Rejection sensitivity often comes with an active inner critic that loves to replay hurtful thoughts. Start questioning these thoughts when they arise. For example, if you think, “I must be a bad mom because my child threw a fit,” ask yourself, “Would I say this to another mom?” This can help you shift to a more compassionate perspective.

3. Focus on Your Intentions, Not Perceived Outcomes

If you find yourself feeling rejected by the behavior or reactions of your children, partner, or others, bring yourself back to your intentions. Remind yourself that your parenting decisions come from a place of love and dedication, even if things don’t go perfectly. Focusing on your intentions can help you feel more grounded and less affected by external perceptions.

4. Practice Self-Compassion Daily

Self-compassion is the antidote to rejection sensitivity. Instead of berating yourself for feeling “too sensitive” or “not good enough,” remind yourself that these feelings are part of the human experience—especially as a mom who cares deeply. Embrace the mantra, “I am doing my best, and that’s enough.”

5. Reframe the Story

If you feel rejected by a friend’s comment or overwhelmed by mom guilt, try reframing the situation. Instead of thinking, “She thinks I’m not a good mom,” consider, “She’s sharing her experience, and it’s not about me.” This mental shift helps detach from the trigger and gives you a clearer view.

6. Find a Support System

It can be incredibly helpful to connect with other moms who understand the challenges of rejection sensitivity. Whether it’s a friend, a support group, or even an online community, having people who “get it” can help normalize your experience and remind you that you’re not alone.

Embracing Sensitivity as a Superpower

While rejection sensitivity can feel like a burden, it’s important to remember that sensitivity can also be a strength. Your awareness of emotions and your desire to be the best mom you can be are qualities that make you compassionate, understanding, and deeply connected to those around you. Instead of viewing rejection sensitivity as a flaw, consider it a part of what makes you uniquely you.

Remember, You’re Not Alone

If you’re navigating rejection sensitivity in motherhood, know that you’re not alone. This experience is more common than it may seem, and countless moms are on similar journeys. With time, self-compassion, and support, you can learn to manage rejection sensitivity, making room for greater resilience and peace in your day-to-day life.

You’re doing incredible work every day, and you deserve to be kind to yourself.